To thee no star be dark
by 2AM
Summary: Harm and Mac stay in contact while he flys tomacts aboard the Patrick Henry.
1. Chapter 1

**To thee no star be dark**

**Author: 2am**

**Disclaimer: I do not own JAG and I am not making any money with this story**

**Beta: I don't have a beta at the moment, so all mistakes are mine**

**Reviews: feed my soul and keep my muse happy ;-) **

**Season: between 4 and 5 (I think?) **

**Summary: Harm and Mac don't lose contact while he's flying on the Patrick Henry. **

**AN: this has been rotting on my hard-drive for a while. I only realised today it even existed. It's a two chapter thing and very fluffy (imho) so don't forget to brush your teeth after reading it ;-) **

_To thee no star be dark_. Words written as a blessing on a handwritten letter from a man far and away. Mac sighed. It had started a few weeks after Harm had left for the _Patrick Henry_. A letter had arrived in his well-known scrawl. He had sent it to JAG of all places. It had been witty and charming and when she had finished reading it she had a warm and fuzzy feeling that went from her heart straight to her head and turned her brain into soft cotton candy.

She had written back. An email. Because she just didn't have the time ... or the paper. Or a real ink pen. Where the heck had he gotten the stuff to write the letter anyway? She had added the question at the end of her mail. As an afterthought.

His answer had come via email. He had taken the paper and the pen with him. Good way to stay in contact with people. Also so much more romantic. No. Those were her words... the master of mixed messages had chosen the words "_charmingly anachronistic_" to describe his new-found affinity for letter writing. Mac rolled her eyes. Sometimes Harm could be such a guy. Anyway. He had kept writing hand-written letters and she kept sending emails back. Of course he did answer the emails too. The letters were his way of communicating on a deeper level. _I know I am not the most forth-coming man when it comes to feelings, Mac, somehow it is easier when you don't have a chance to interrupt me, or throw one of those looks, or look so beautifully bashfully embarrassed by a simple compliment, or smile that smile that makes me forget what exactly it is that I want to tell you_. His words.

She kept the letters in her night-stand. On a lonely night she wrapped them in a red ribbon. Praying that no one was going to find them. Or she would have to die of embarrassment. Marines don't wrap letters in romantic red ribbons. She somehow summoned the courage to write him an email about that. _Red doesn't have to be romantic. Pink is romantic in a cliché kitschy kind of way. Red is hot, red-hot even_. His answer made her laugh out loud in front of Harriet who snuck into her office while she read his letter. Harriet had her suspicions. She made sure to let Mac know about them.

Mac told her that nothing was going on between them. Harriet only pointed towards the letter and asked if Harm had ever heard of those wonderful things called emails. Mac grinned and made an of the hand comment about Harm's ineptitude with computers in general and their software in particular. Harriet had laughed for a moment. Then she told Mac that she and Bud had been sending Harm updates about little AJ... and that Harm answered every single one of them. Via email. Mac rolled her eyes. She had walked straight into that one.

It was all his fault, she told him in her next email. Why did he have to send the letters to her office anyway. The answer was a government sealed letter to her that was delivered the next day courtesy of the express naval postal service. It was just one line. _It's called setting a precedent, Mac_. She had to grin at the ingeniousness of it all. Except for the fact that email might still be faster, if the recipient checked for new ones regularly. _What if there's a blackout. You'll still get your mail. The real one that is, not the cyber version_.

She made sure to point out that there was a flaw in his logic... that there was no way she would receive her mail, even her express mail, during a long nationwide blackout. No stars on her shoulders. The Admiral might get his mail. Might. If he was lucky. There was NO way she was going to get hers. Harm had told her to stop thinking. _That is you're biggest problem anyway. You make things way to complicated. You over-rationalize everything. Which is probably one of the reasons why I am so drawn to you. Like the moth to a flame. Opposites attract. Especially if they're as attractive as you are_. _So stop thinking, Mac. Start feeling_.

And she does. She takes his next letter home with her. She makes herself a cup of hot chocolate and snuggles into her bed. And she reads it slowly. Drinking in every single word. Allowing herself to get lost in the sentences. Listening to his voice in her head. Hearing his laughter and seeing his smile. In the end she slowly drifts of to sleep. She can't remember any of her dreams the following morning. But she knows he was there. Knows they were intimately intertwined. Knows that there were whispered words, so meaningful.

She goes shopping. Buys herself a Pen and dark blue ink. Because it reminds her of him. And on her way out of the mall she buys roses. Beautiful dark red roses. Blood red roses. Like the blood flowing through her veins. Hours later she lies on her bed an empty sheet of paper in front of her. But she just can't find the words. So that is her first sentence. _Harm, I cannot find any words. I have no words to give. What am I going to do now? I had no idea how difficult this is. I wish you were here. With me. Last night I read your letter at home. Lying in my bed. Hot chocolate on my night-stand. Red ribbon wrapped around the others. I breathed in every word. Gasping for your thoughts like a drowning man for air. And then I dreamed about you_.

The next letter is wrapped in a navy blue ribbon. Mac can't wait to read it. She counts the hours, minutes, seconds till she can leave JAG Ops and go home. Till she can put on her favourite silk robe and lie on her bed, till she can breathe in the fragrant scent of the roses. _The stars are veiled, Mac, I can see them no more. There is nothing but darkness. Soft darkness that sneaks itself into my soul. Today one of my buddies died. Hit a swarm of birds and crashed into the sea. And there are no answers. Only Questions. He was my friend. Not my hearts blood, not my secret treasure. I cannot lose you. I miss your dark eyes more than I have ever missed them before. Miss the gentle light that shines within them. The stars are veiled I can no longer see them. To thee no star be dark, my love, to thee no star be dark._

She cries tears for him then. Gentle tears for his loss.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Second Chapter... Disclaimer (see no. 1), this is very short... but for me it worked better this way... please, please, please... REVIEW!**

_I do not see the sunrise. I am blind to its beauty. I ca__nnot see the soft morning light. I see the mists drifting from the river. I cannot find you my love._ Mac closes her eyes. She has been waiting for another letter. Only it doesn't come. He was asked to fly a couple of top secret missions. And he does his duty. No letters for Mac. And she worries. Worries about him more than before. Wonders where he is and what he's doing. Hopes that he is fine and is almost certain that he's not. She still writes him letters but she doesn't post them. Scared that they might never reach him. She leaves them on her night-stand wrapped in the navy blue ribbon.

She's finally home. After weeks of long hours and bad accommodations at the VOQ of some forlorn base. She enters her bedroom and stops. Suddenly there is no air in her lungs and no breathe left to take. On her night-stand lies a desolate blue silk ribbon. Her letters are nowhere to be found. For a moment she doesn't know what to do. Doesn't know how to react to this invasion of her privacy. And then she sees it. The long-stemmed blood red rose lying on her bed. Covering a note. She walks over as if in trance and gently picks up the flower, runs her fingertips over the petals, inhales the wonderful scent slowly allowing the air back into her aching lungs.

She picks up the note. Two Words.

_Turn around. _

She turns and suddenly she's in his arms.

_I love you, don't ever leave again, stay with me_... so many things she wishes to say but her lips are otherwise engaged. He pulls back. Looks into her love-struck eyes. And then he says the words. The one she couldn't say.

_I love you. _

And suddenly there is no such thing as rationality... everything is unexpectedly simple, no complications, no long discussions and no lame attempts at running away. They're both here now. On the same page. And telling him that she loves him is so easy. The words flow from her lips before she can consciously decide to say them.

_I love you, too. _

The end.

**AN2: I know I changed from past to present tense somewhere in the middle of the first chapter... I realized before I was going to post it and it's the main reason why this thing has been rotting on my hard-drive for so long. I decided to leave the change in. I hope it's not too annoying (personally I find it annoying when there are grammar mistakes in texts and I guess according to my highschool English teachers changing tenses with no good reason is a big one... screw it... I'm not in highschool anymore, after all!).**


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